| ....you've been to the beer
joint of your dreams. ....bulls are on restaurant
roofs.
....Cortezes is like Number 5 but with hookers outside.
....Boscov's and Walmart are quality shopping.
....Olive Garden and Red Lobster are quality
restaurants.
....Wegmans is larger than 500,000 square feet.
....you're only 60 miles from beautiful Scranton!
....you can get anywhere in 15 minutes or less
(including the airport).
....you've had to take your laptop out of your bag at
the airport scanner.
....every time you meet someone who's moved to
Binghamton from out of town,you ask, "Why on earth did you ever move to THIS
godforsaken place?"
....you think of its proximity to New York City as one
of the best things about living in Binghamton.
....you think of its proximity to New York City as one
of the worst things about living in Binghamton.
....you ever shopped for clothing and shoes in
Pennsylvania to avoid sales tax before Broome County finally removed it.
....you are related to someone who works at IBM.
....you are related to someone who used to work at
"EJ."
....you have always known what "E-J" stands
for.
....you used to feel guilty if you bought anything other
than "E-J" shoes, and even today, you wonder if you were ultimately responsible
for their demise.
....you argue with your friends about which bar serves
the best spiedies.
....cubed, marinated spiedie meat is for sale in every
local supermarket at outrageous prices.
....you know someone who lives in Endicott in an
"IBM house" with a bombshelter built into the basement in case they dropped The
BigOne (which is now used as a soundproof den).
....you remember when the B.C. Icemen were the
Binghamton Rangers (& the Whalers).
....you remember when Juanita Crabb was mayor, and can
express your opinions about her term at the drop of a hat, in explicit detail.
....you are always complaining about the hopeless
conservatism of the local government and how they will never do anything real to bring
back downtown. |
....your idea of the ultimate
date is dinner at Number 5. ....you know the tune
to "See you at the Giant."
....you know what the "Little Giant" is, and
that it's not an oxymoron.
....you wonder if Oakdale Mall will ever make up the
ground it lost to Town Square Mall.
....the only really good bookstore in town is the Barnes
& Noble in Vestal.
....you remember all the stores that *used* to be in
Vestal Plaza before it became Vestal Park.
....the commercials for Beacon Water Treatment Systems
and "The Can Man" make you laugh.
....you think that people who don't know how to drive in
the Johnson City traffic circle are either wimps or idiots.
....of course, you *never* call it "Johnson
City"; it's always "JC."
....you think "C. Fred" is a perfectly normal
name for a middle school, and "Harry L" is a perfectly normal name for a
highway.
....you still call Binghamton University
"SUNY."
....you live in Vestal and you are terrified of
"SUNY" buying any more property because then it will go off the tax rolls.
....it's considered normal for 15 college students to
pile in one cab to go out on a weekend.
....it's considered normal for 15 college students to
live in one house, but that doesn't mean the people on Leroy Street like it.
....you have a button certifying that you have ridden
all six local carousels.
....you think there is no point to getting any kind of
ice cream other than Pat Mitchell's.
....your idea of "upward mobility" is when
someone moves to Syracuse.
....you go to Ithaca on the weekends for fun.
....you grew up thinking every park had a carousel.
....you've always wondered what it means to be "The
Parlor City."
....you think eating spiedies and watching hot-air
balloons launch is the highlight of the summer.
....you knew that North Field is behind East Middle
School.
....you expect fireworks after every other minor league
baseball game.
....people from 15 miles away think you live in a big
city. |
